Yeh Dosti Hum Nahin...

Visuals of Amitabh Bachchan and Dharmendra on that Bullet with a side car attached, humming this very popular number rendered by Manna Dey and Kishore Kumar move at the speed of 60 frames per second as I write this post. An iconic image from an equally iconic movie, which set the cash registers ringing, replete with unique characters, the biggest villain Indian screens have seen, the most creative use of a water tank and alcohol and the decisive two headed coin.

Sholay set the standards for masala movies and made Amitabh Bachchan, Dharmendra, Hema Malini and Sanjeev Kumar superstars overnight. Need we say anything about Amjad Khan?

The reason why this song came up was a post on facebook I saw between two close friends, people who have been staying together for a number of years. One did not know the other was pregnant while the other did not know the former got married a month ago. It was sad to see themcongratulate each other on their respective walls. Their friendship had reduced to indifference bordering on formality.

My entourage runs eclectic and deep. Theres the bunch I grew up with, the idiots from kindergarden, Her from 5th class, the boys from middle school and the monkeys from high school. College happened with the pookies, tinku, BP, Paddy and KMC. Significant individuals, so near yet so far, who have made life a whole lot different in so many ways.

This is a first in a series of posts dedicated to these wonderful people who are still a very integral part of my life. 

I look at it as my way of humming those lines from Sholay..:)

Tintin Boy

I was an enthusiastic little kid in my kindergarten, reading a lot, running around, stealing lunches and making them ladies cry. The teachers hated me and punishment was sitting in the front row, which I detested. Tintin boy joined us in 2nd grade and one day when I was all over the place during hindi lessons, I was pulled down to earth by my left ear lobe and made to sit next to him. He was the smartest kid in class and knew everything, I fell hook line and sinker and we hit it off. His mom and dad ensured the best for him and his sister loved him dearly. We used to spend Sundays at each others place, where lazy afternoons were spent reading Tintin and the Hindu newspaper. His dad transferred to Delhi and they moved. We tried getting in touch with him but in vain. A few months back, Moviegirl and I were talking when she mentioned about Tintinboy. I got his contact details from her, wrote to him immediately to find out that he finished a Masters degree in Biomedical Engineering and is currently working at a Neuroscience Startup in California. Our man recently got hitched and is as enthusiastic as he was in the 2nd standard. 

Repercussions

"Character is easier kept than recovered"-Thomas Paine

A quote put up at work got me thinking about character. We grew up being what we are thanks to our parents, the environment at home, our friends, teachers, neighbors and the community in general. These inputs shaped our character and aided us in believing and doing the right things which included its subset of doing things that we thought were right.

Somewhere down the line, A lot of us end up compromising on a lot of things we believe in for a variety of reasons, good or bad. There could be a million reasons, which I will not delve into, but at the end of the day, we do end up losing sight. Does this make us necessarily out of tune with our character?

As long as we are aware of the choices we make and know that they will not affect our relationships with the ones who matter then I think, we are on steady ground.

As for yourself, you have to deal with the repercussions. Alone.

At The Crease

I had this intriguing conversation with a friend a couple of nights ago. She was lamenting about how she threw away her last 10 years of existence and that her goal is basically redemption. Her state of mind was such that anything I would have said would not make any sense. I let her be.

Thinking about the last 10 years of my life, I finished my boards respectably, threw away two years of preparation to pursue a dream that did not materialise. I chose a field that was not approved of, was kicked out of my own house.I worked hard through college, managed reasonable grades, met some wonderful people, laughed, cried, loved, fought, made up, broke up,  revelled and regretted. I flew west and unavoidable  circumstances made  me make some choices that ended up being inevitable. I moved up north, was taken for a ride, by  eminent faculty, almost died, obtained security clearance from the US government and experienced being part of a great team. There have been days, all kinds of ones, but they were such learning experiences. 10 years from now, I can always look back and smile. 

Life throws different balls at you when you are at the crease. There is the googly  which turns in the other direction, There is the fast beamer, that makes you duck for cover, the outswinger that just misses the edge. There are the balls that can get you dismissed-the  impeccable ones that you really cannot do anything about and the crafty ones  that  get you to  play the wrong shot. You wait for the odd wrong ball to hit it out of the ground, and if you watch carefully, you drive that  perfect good length delivery right to the fence. We need to keep running to collect those singles in between.

All that matters is you staying in front of those wickets and facing the deliveries and look back at an innings well played.

Addendum to Loneliness

Afterthought: no one should be lonely. Companionship of any sort is required for sanity. Else, its very difficult to fight the feeling which eats you up from the inside, turning you into someone you are not.

Reach out. Be there for yourself and for others. Do not die a slow death, one that consumes your entire life and kills you before your body gives up.

Words

Sometimes words are all that matter. In fact, most of the times. A right word at the right time can bring a smile on a face or make eyes well up, clear the clouds or make life murky, be a ray of light or a thunderbolt.

Conviction, belief, trust, love and respect need to be attached to words and thats what transforms words from just being words to being meaningful. Without meaning, everything else falls flat.

I aspire to lead a meaningful existence. I have had my setbacks. I learn from them and keep working hard.

Being Alone

Over the last few days, a lot of thoughts and a whole spectrum of discussion has been over the aspect of loneliness. I have had friends tell me that they would be so happy if all they had was someone to sit with them and just watch movies at home. I know colleagues who drown in alcohol just to escape the reality that they are lonely. On the other hand, I know people who actually drive away kids from their door during Halloween because they do not want to be disturbed.

Deep down inside, people are lonely. Man has been a social creature since evolution and needs people around him to make him feel confident, secure and independent. When one does not get the external stimulus, it tends to affect his psyche and he withdraws into his shell. It is perfectly a balance that nature intends because as much as we are social, we need a little time by ourselves to revitalize and rejuvenate.

Its all in the mind. One can choose not to be lonely if they want to. It could be a manifestation of their lack of social skills and they tend to look at it this way. Its a choice of life for a lot of people, but that does not make them any lesser mortals. This conundrum is open to interpretation in a ton of ways and naturally, it has been beaten and trod upon and in general, done to death. My only take on this is that at some point, one would know how much the presence ( or the lack of ) people in their lives affect their wellbeing and psyche. Once that realization falls in place, its in their hands to make things work their way. Being lonely isn't some sort of a debilitating disease or a mental disorder. Its just a choice, a conscious choice for some and a temporary subconscious choice for the rest.

Disclaimer: Lines above are mere observations and are not intended to impose views..:)